I don’t think evil can even begin to describe my feelings toward my attacker. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to over come the pain from this whole ordeal, but I’ve found once you seen evil, it’s hard to see past the darkness to remember what happiness feels like! You will need to get caught up so if you haven’t already read Part 1 and Part 2 you may want to do so!
I guess I should’ve known just how unstable my estranged husbands mistress was. A week before the attack, I received a phone call from her while I was in the office at a meeting. She was angry because I had reached out via phone to her husband. I wanted him to be aware of their affair as well! She of course denied the affair and said I was just a crazy, jealous wife. During the call she did everything in her power to try and break me down. Unfortunately for me, my husband had given her just the power she needed to do so! During the time the affair was going on, my husband had been sharing details about my previous two marriages. I’m sure initially it wasn’t to hurt me, but with the knowledge he provided, she did just that! It simply wasn’t enough for her to screw my husband and try to end my marriage, she wanted to break me down and leave me hopeless in the process!
During the call she spewed hatred from her mouth as easy as lava flows from a volcano! She was calculated and precise in her words. What could she say so terrible might you ask? Knowing that my first husband was killed in a car accident, she said “Your first husband is better off dead than living one more day with you!” For those who don’t know that story, it hurt me to the core! My love for my first husband ran deep! He was my high school sweetheart, a National Boxing Champion with aspirations to compete in the Olympics. His life was cut short in a tragic accident the day after Christmas while returning home from hunting with his brother. He and I had a 22 month old son and I found out 5 days after he passed away I was pregnant with our daughter! So as one might imagine, that cut me deep emotionally, just as she intended to do!
She also used our time conversing to tell me “If she were married to me, she would beat my ass everyday”, referring to my second husband! Thanks to my cheating spouse, she was made aware of the abuse I suffered at the hands of this man. Abuse of which he was aware of not by just hearsay, but by witnessing it with his own eyes! He was also abusive to my children as well. For her to empathize with any man who lays his hands on a woman and children to harm them just goes to show what kind of coldness is within her heart!
When I called my husband crying about what she had said to me on the phone, he said he had only told her those things to “explain” to her why I had been married so many times! What the hell!!! Why did he owe her an explanation of MY life! This was MY life, OUR marriage, and he had NO right to share my past with this woman! By the end of our conversation he was once again defending his mistress, doubting the validity of our conversation! Perhaps if he would’ve believed me from the beginning, I would’ve been sparred the physical wounds I suffered by her a week later!
After the injunction hearing, I was confident she would keep her distance. Well, wasn’t I the naïve one!
It didn’t take long for my husband to join in on tormenting me. He was living with his sister during our separation. One day he called me to tell me to come get money for support. I had filed for divorce shortly after the attack, but we hadn’t been to court yet. I drove over to his sisters house and there, in the driveway, was her car! I was so dumbfounded! Why in the hell would he deliberately be trying to destroy me little by little. My whole body reacted to the mere sight of the vehicle. Just knowing she was inside had me scared and on guard. I got the check and left quickly, thankful no incident occurred. That was when I realized the people I once considered my family were family no more. There was no way his sister wasn’t aware of the games he and she were playing. She had to know what was going on and was obviously enjoying it as much as the two of them. I could understand her siding with her brother, but what I couldn’t understand was her allowing this violent woman to be in the same house with her children. Not only during the day, but I found out she was also welcome to stay at night as well.
Several weeks passed and one of my friends called me. She had phoned to tell me she saw both of their vehicles up at the local Italian Restaurant! What she wasn’t aware of is that he had visitation of my daughter at the time! Every fiber of my body flew into protective mode! All I could think of was I needed to get my baby away from that woman! I knew she was unstable and I wasn’t trusting him to protect my baby! After all, he did stand by and watch the same one attack me without saying a word! I jumped into my truck and drove faster than the law allowed! God must’ve been on my side that day because I should’ve been pulled over! I walked into the restaurant and there they were, my husband and her on one side of the table and my 3 year old daughter and her 2 year old son on the other side of the table in high chairs! I couldn’t believe my eyes! I walked over, picked up my daughter, looked him right in the eyes and simply said “NOOOOOO” in the firmest voice I could muster! My baby girl reached up and said “Mommy!” As we walked out the door, he proceeded to yell profanities at me, but I just held my baby girl tight and thanked God I had her back safe and sound!
Their relationship continued for more than 9 months after my attack before we finally made it into court. Every time I left our daughter in his care, I worried about her wellbeing. All I could do was pray and wait for our day in court! At the hearing, the judge ordered no contact between my attacker and my daughter at all! He would NEVER be allowed to bring our daughter around his mistress for as long as she was a minor! I was also awarded child support and spousal support. Even though the divorce wasn’t final, I had some peace of mind knowing my daughter was safe!
Shortly after the hearing he ended their relationship. Our divorce proceedings continued and I thought I had heard the last from her. Not the case! My husband got a new girlfriend at some point. I guess she heard about it and wasn’t happy, even though she remained married. Somehow, I guess it became my fault he had moved on without her!! She picked up the phone and called me, threatening me once again! I called the Sheriff’s department and they retrieved the phone records. In spite of her blocking her number, they traced it back to her cell phone. They took the injunction violation to the States Attorneys Office and they declined to prosecute once again, saying it was JUST a “technical violation” and not worth it! I asked them if she would have to freaking kill me before they would ever file charges against her! I was over it! Once again, she remained untouchable!
Although the criminal justice system failed me, I was trying to go after her in a civil court of law, with the hope she would at the very least have to pay restitution of some sort. Let’s face it, I had been going to a therapist off and on for years to deal with what had happened, and even with insurance, it wasn’t cheap! I finally found an attorney who would file the case before the statute of limitations ran out! She asked me to keep a watch on her social media sites in case she was served without my knowledge. She didn’t want me to be caught off guard if she decided to retaliate! Daily, I would check it to make sure she was all smiles and giggles, living life without any worries. Then, I logged in to find some disturbing images on her page!
This was the point where I realized she had no soul! She had stabbed me with a Budweiser bottle. I was called scarface by the very woman who made me that way! I knew this from several firemen I had run into since the incident. One was very blunt with me and told me that she made fun of me calling me scarface! She worked as an instructor and was nicknamed “slasher” and wore the name proudly! What kind of sane person would think this is ok? This is not the behavior of a normal person! She’s obviously deranged! Even though I knew about the nicknames, I won’t lie, it hurt reading it in black and white! Even more so because her fellow firefighters seemed to be enjoying the drama instead of being appalled at her actions!
I have so many things still hiding just beneath the surface. It was a long, hard road but I fully intend to let it all out! I plan to continue to write daily until I feel like the world knows the whole story! No, I wasn’t perfect in this situation. No pissed off, angry, vindictive woman is, but one thing is for certain….I have never been evil! Anything I did during that time was done to try and gain some sort of control of my life that was in a downward spiral! Let’s face it, the man I loved turned his back on me and his family for this woman, and I planned to make damn sure everyone knew exactly who she was, including her husband! Definitely not my finest moment, but I have no regrets. He’s happily married now and he deserves nothing less!
I’ve been quiet for far too long! I’ve been protecting the very people who did nothing to protect me in my time of need. I’m sure I’ve ruffled some feathers over the last few days. That’s ok. I went into this knowing it would happen. Truthfully, it’s one of the reasons it’s taken me this long to let it out! I had to be strong enough to deal with the backlash! There is always those who will doubt the truth even if it’s spelled out for them clearly. Those people are called skeptics. They are the “glass half empty” kind of people! I don’t know about you, but these days, I like my glass half full!
Tomorrow’s Topic: We Have Something in Common…Our Husbands Mistress
(Oh yes….I can’t make this crap up!)