Tag Archives: mistress

You Aren’t That Special

So…are you the “other” person in a relationship? Was your love once forbidden and now your life together seems like it was destiny? Well, trust me, you aren’t that special!

There were other women before you came around, me included. I thought I could tame him. I thought I was “different” than the other girls he had dated in the past. I guess in a way I was, he married me, but I wasn’t so different except, for the ring! I too was on the other end of his coldness. I had witnessed first hand how he had destroyed others before me, but they were just girlfriends…our relationship was different…he was young…blah, blah, blah! I told myself the same excuses that I am sure you are!

Well, to all those women out there that were either mistresses or are mistresses, wake up! You know the saying and I shouldn’t have to repeat it, but once a cheater, always a cheater! Now I don’t mean that a marriage that has gone through infidelity can’t be saved. If a couple goes through infidelity, puts in the time and effort needed to heal what caused the cheater to cheat, then the marriage most definitely can be saved! Now, before you misunderstand, I in no way blame the non-cheating spouse for the affair…quite the opposite. More than not, cheating is usually caused by an insecurity of the cheater. They are usually holding back emotionally from their partner in life, so they act out to find out the grass isn’t greener!

Oh, I’m just crazy? I caused the affair? I wasn’t giving my husband what he needed so he went elsewhere? Well, let me assure you, that’s not the case! I was a good mother, worked hard and made more money than he did, cooked dinner, went to my kids functions, and “performed” my wifely duties on most days he was home from the fire department. So no, it wasn’t my fault, he was just a selfish bastard who wasn’t willing to open his heart completely and let out his demons that had a tight grip!

I remember one instance before I knew they were intimate. He had called me from work the day before. He told me he wanted to work on our marriage. He told me I was the most important thing to him and to make an appointment with the marriage counselor, he wanted to do everything he could to get our marriage back on track. The next day, he came home from work early in the morning, packed his bags to move out! I was devastated! I kept asking why and what had changed! He said, “I know you will NEVER forgive me for what I’ve done!” At the time, I thought they were just “talking”…looking back, I know now it was already sexual! He knew deep down I was a strong woman. He knew I was too good of a woman to stay with a serial cheater. He knew I would always know when and if he cheated again! So he ran….he chickened out….he didn’t want to do the hard work and face what he had done!

It’s been a decade…I’ve lost track of the women. They come and go. At first it was hard…I cringed every time I met a new “girlfriend”. Then I met one I liked….then she was gone. Then another I liked…gone! Boot camp girl….gone! The live in girlfriend who I adored…gone! The list is endless and I hated every second of watching my daughter bond with a new woman…not because of jealousy, but fear! Fear that she too would be gone!

Then came his 2nd marriage….you guessed it…gone! And just like that, my daughter was not allowed to continue a relationship with a woman she had a bond with because it made him feel uncomfortable!

Why? Because some people never change….once a cheater, always a cheater! The lies are still the same…the pattern is very familiar…almost crazy, scary familiar actually! So much so I can usually see it coming!  But sometimes you’ve just got to sit back and wait for it to happen…because it will! History has a habit of repeating itself. It may be tomorrow, it may be 4 months from now, or 5 years from now, but this I can count on! One day in the near future, you too will be…gone!

 

We Have Something in Common…Our Husbands Mistress

Every decision we make in life affects those around us as well.  The impact can be big or small, it can be life changing or life ending, or it can just simply bring two people who were once strangers together, and make them instant friends!

A couple of years after my attack, I got married to my current husband Chris! He is literally everything I needed him to be and more. I have been accused of sleeping with him and having an affair during the time my ex husband started his affair, but once again, I have proof otherwise. He is in the Navy and was deployed during this timeframe! Just another way for people to make excuses for those who nearly destroyed my life! Anyway, I met my husband Chris 3 months after I was stabbed and 2 weeks before my reconstructive surgery. It was a bad time for me as one can imagine. The furthest thing from my mind was meeting my future husband, but God has a funny way of giving you just what you need in your darkest hour! He’s 9 years younger than me and I jokingly tell him he was just supposed to be a distraction, but he just never went away! I knew he was a keeper after the reconstructive surgery, which he insisted on being there for! I woke up in recovery, my face was swollen and I looked like crap. He held my hand, looked down at me and said “You are so beautiful!”  Of course I know he was lying about my physical appearance, but I’ve since learned he fell in love with ALL of me, not just what you see on the outside!

One night shortly after we were married I was getting ready for bed and Chris was in the shower. My phone rang and I answered it. A woman asked me if I was Kenna-Joy Treadwell. Of course I paused because I was remarried. I asked who she was and what she wanted. She said “Do you know (attacker)?” I yelled at her and hung up the phone! I immediately started shaking and crying! The reaction to hearing “her” name was so intense, so raw….it felt like the attack had just happened all over again! I ran into the bathroom and was comforted by my husband immediately! The phone rang again….I swear my heart felt like it stopped! Why were they calling me? Why wouldn’t they just leave me alone and let me live my life?

This wasn’t the first phone call I had received, but it was definitely the first time the same person called twice. For a while the blocked calls came frequently. They would always involve telling me about one of my attackers violent blow ups while on the job. Whether it was her spitting on a patient or hitting a coworker, it seemed like she always went unpunished. The callers never identified themselves but would always say they knew what she was capable of. They always upset me because I felt helpless. She was still violent and there was nothing that was going to change who she was!

But this call was different. As soon as I answered the second time, I heard it in her voice….the same desperation I had heard in my own voice when I was going through my separation and divorce! Then she revealed who she was. “My husband is having an affair with (attacker) too! I just took a deep breath and said “Stay away from her…she’s dangerous!”

I sat down on my bed and what began as a conversation ended up as a friendship! She was going through the same thing I had gone through a few years before. Her husband was also a firefighter and worked with my attacker. He was her superior. Both parties involved were still married to other people when their affair started. Is this not frowned upon at all? How can people who are supposed to be working continually use their time to engage in extramarital affairs and this be alright with their employer! I guess the fact they work 24 hour shifts together creates a perfect environment for rampant cheating! Tax payers money hard at work! The fact that she was sleeping with a superior should’ve had both of them reprimanded at the very least but once again, she is above the law!

Our situations were similar in many ways. She was making the wife distraught with her negative comments. Her goal was to end the marriage. There were secret rendezvous and vacations. One rendezvous in particular, the wife was able to follow them to a hotel where she ended up being injured by a moving vehicle where her husband and his mistress were occupants. Luckily the injuries were mild, but still no repercussions.

I instantly felt a connection with her, of course. I’m not sure how long we spoke that evening, but we eventually made plans to meet in person. My first thought when I saw her was what in the hell was her husband thinking! Judy was a beautiful woman and as I sat down and talked to her I learned of her inner beauty! She is a true Christian. She spoke often of her faith during our conversation. Over the next few months we spoke frequently. One day she called to tell me my attacker was sorry for what she had done and wanted forgiveness! My first response was what in the hell are you talking about? They had spoken, her husband and his mistress were broken up. She apologized to Judy for what she had done and like any Christian, she opened her heart and forgave her.

Then, she dropped a bomb on me! Judy said, “She’s sorry for what she did to you that night too! She said she wished it never happened! You should really forgive her. She’s accepted Christ into her heart and is asking for forgiveness!”

My mouth hung open as I processed the information I had just been given! I couldn’t believe my ears. I am not a person that goes to church like I should, but I am a Christian and I believe in forgiveness with all of my heart! So why was I having such a hard time opening my mouth and saying the words “I forgive you”?

Then it came to me….to be forgiven, you must first be sorry for what you’ve done. You must be remorseful, you must be shameful for the act you carried out, you must feel empathy for your victim and you must be willing to accept the punishment for your actions! So my response was this….”If she is really sorry for what she did and wants forgiveness, tell her to go down to the Sheriffs Office and tell them exactly what she did! Tell them the truth….admit she stabbed me!” I told Judy I knew she was just after something…probably just trying to get information of some sort from her!

It was a while before I heard from Judy again. When I did, she admitted that the mistress was only using her to get information about her husband during their breakup! This woman had no boundaries she will not cross in order to get what she wants! Using Christianity as a ploy to get information because she knew the level of dedication of Judy’s faith is so low! But then again, why should I be surprised!

Judy and I remain friends bonded by a heartless mistress who tried to destroy both of our lives! She is still just as pretty as the day we met, inside and out! She has been a voice for me many times when I wasn’t around to dispute lies! She put me in touch with people to try and put a stop to the lack of justice received! I am not happy with the circumstances in which we first met, but I can’t imagine being on this journey alone without my sidekick!

The “mistress” ended up married to Judy’s husband. I often wonder which one will cheat first! I wouldn’t be surprised if it were him….you can only be fake so long before your inner ugliness shines bright, and age hasn’t been her friend either! Maybe that will be the Karma I’ve been waiting on….A little justice I call “a dose of your own medicine!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

And That’s The Truth

I’ve been debating for a while as to whether to write about this topic in further detail. I’ve been in a mental, emotional battle with myself as to whether I should allow myself to dive deep within myself, pull out the raw emotions, and just let them out for anyone and everyone to judge me, including the cowards hiding behind fake profiles. Then, as if I needed a sign, it was staring me in the face! A bright neon sign….blinking…beckoning me to sit down at my laptop and just have it out with my past! I figured if my past continues to bring itself into my present, then why not give it what it wants…the attention it so very much craves!

I’ve touched on this subject quite a few times in previous blogs. My friends and family know the story inside and out. They’ve seen the pictures, they’ve seen the court documents, they’ve held me through the tears, and helped me through my darkest times. But I want to reach out to those who don’t know. Or to those who THINK they know, but they really have no clue. I want to reach out the non-believers. To the ones who think I somehow deserved what happened to me. I would like those people to seriously read with an open mind, and ask yourself at the end of this blog, if I am telling the truth, how should this individual still be walking around among the free? And to those who may wonder “Well how do we know you are telling the truth?” First and foremost, use common sense. Second, I have either physical evidence or court documents to back up my story….no, not my story, my TRUTH! Just ask, I am more than willing to show it to you!

11 years ago, I was in the middle of a nasty separation. I was working as a Home Health Nurse, had four beautiful kids and was married to a Fireman. Right before Christmas, something felt off. We started marriage counseling. Within a week I knew he was having an affair. Call it a woman’s intuition or whatever you would like, but deep down in my gut, I knew he was cheating! He left a few days after Christmas. Within days, I confirmed the affair with numerous phone records, voice mail messages and several meetings between the two of them. Not surprising, she was also married. They worked together at the fire department. During the months of January and February, things were touch and go. We continued counseling, had a few family dinners and continued to have spousal relations. My husband continually denied the affair throughout this time. I received mixed signals as to where our lives were headed.

At the end of February, I had plans to go to an event with a dear friend. Although it was a police and firefighter event, when I spoke to my husband prior to accepting my friends invitation, he assured me he would not be there. That night, I went to the event, not knowing my life would change forever!

When we arrived, it didn’t take long for me to realize my husband was there. I ignored him and stayed with my friends. I spoke to a few of his friends in passing throughout the night. At the end of the event, our group went our separate ways. My friend, her boyfriend and I walked to my car. I heard my husband yell “whore” to me from behind as I entered the car. So I got out, appalled at his accusations, especially since it was he that had been unfaithful!

As we were arguing, his mistress came from behind him with her arm raised. Before I had a chance to react, I was out. I woke up on the ground with her standing over me, striking me repeatedly with an object. I tried kicking her to get her off of me, but I felt the object hit my butt so I grabbed her hair to pull her down on top of me. I remember hearing her grunt as she continually jabbed the object into my torso. I felt her being pulled off of me. I reached over to my husband who was standing to my left side. I grabbed his leg and begged for help. His response was “Get the Fuck off of me!” And just like that, he left with her. The rest is pretty much a blur. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance where I received over 75 sutures to the face and chest. I had multiple abrasions to my abdomen, but by the grace of God, I chose to wear my black leather jacket that night! I fully believe it saved my life.

No arrest was made. They informed me it was a case of he said, she said! My husband refused to tell the truth. He said I attacked her. Her story was I was on top of her, choking her, she reached over and grabbed a bottle off of the ground and started hitting me in self defense.  So here’s your chance to believe her side over mine….but let’s look at some facts before you are quick to judge.

I met with the officer on scene and he gave me her statement and explained since “I was the aggressor”, she wouldn’t be arrested. I then asked him was she covered in blood? He said no, just on her hands. This is where the common sense comes in….how could there be NO blood on her if I were on top of her when she stabbed me in self defense? Gravity would’ve covered her in my blood! Another point which you will be able to act out yourself after I post the pictures. How is it possible for her to slash me from the right upper chest down to the left lower chest with one motion if my hands were around her neck choking her? My arms would’ve been blocking the motion needed to cause those injuries. The rookie officer apologized to me after our conversation. I realize there were superior officers in charge of what took place that night and the choice to not make an arrest. I also realize with her working for the same city in which the attack occurred, I would never receive justice. I met one road block after another.

This is just the beginning of the truth….emotionally I must take a break. It’s hard reliving this painful event, but the truth deserves to be heard. Stay tuned folks….there’s a whole lot of crazy left to explore! (If you are squeamish, look away now)

This picture shows the blood pooled at my neck, proving I was on my back, not choking her

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This one caused nerve damage and has left the left side of my jaw numb.

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