Tag Archives: assault

An Evil Heart

December 2004 was the first time I had ever attended therapy as a couple. I had been to therapy previously when my first husband passed away, but never as a couple. When I made that appointment, I had hope in my heart. I really felt like this would be the answer to our marital issues. I knew how deep my love for my husband ran, and I knew I was willing to do anything to make our marriage work. Whenever I fell in love with him, I gave him 100% of my heart. I loved him no matter what. I loved his faults, I loved his quirky grin, I loved his weird giggle, I loved the way he told a story, and I loved his skinny frame. He didn’t need to do anything special to impress me…I loved him just the way he was. And that should’ve been enough to make it work, right? It turns out the only thing I wasn’t willing to accept was his infidelity and his lack of loyalty to our marriage. Don’t get me wrong, when I first found out about the affair, I was willing to do the work to drag our marriage out of the hole it was in and make it back to where we started. The only problem was, I was the only one willing to make the commitment to our marriage. After the attack, I knew the marriage would never be able to be salvaged. How could I ever trust my heart to a man who left me laying on the ground, bleeding, while he ran off with his mistress? How could I ever trust a man who stood in court under oath and refused to name my attacker?

During the first year after the attack, I really felt like his heart was filled with evil. How could I have been so wrong about a man? I thought I knew him but I had been wrong. Then, one day it happened. The man I had married reappeared and for the first time in over 2 years, I recognized the person I was speaking too.

I had called my now ex-husband to confirm him picking up our daughter from school. I also told him of my recent engagement. After hanging up, he called back and said he couldn’t pick our daughter up. When I told him she was excited and expecting him, he broke down crying. Now, I want to make a point here. Some men can cry at the littlest thing. My ex-husband could not. He cried when our daughter was born, he cried when he told our kids he was moving out, and now, he was crying….I was shocked! For the next 45 minutes I listened to him tell me how sorry he was for everything he had done. He said he was so f**ked up and she was a crazy bitch! (umm…yea she is)  He told me he never meant to hurt me. He said he knew that I would’ve never forgiven him for the affair, which was why he left. He swore he didn’t realize how bad I was hurt the night of the attack…he was drunk and he only remembered it partially, the forgotten portion was filled in by my attacker. He said he was happy I was getting remarried and said my future husband was a great guy…I deserved to be happy! I could go on and on about our conversation, but bottom line, he showed remorse for his actions and I knew he was sorry! He never intended for me to get hurt and I knew he was telling the truth. So, I gave him some advice. I explained I had been working through the emotional carnage from both the affair and attack for the last two years with the help of a therapist, and for our daughters sake he needed to do the same. She deserved her daddy to be emotionally healthy and happy!

Although he only went a couple of times, I received the apology I needed to remove the anger I held in my heart for him. I will never forget what he did or the role he played in my attack, but I will forgive him. He is not the same kind of manipulative human being as my attacker. Is he a habitual cheater? Yes! Does he carry more emotional baggage than Delta on any given day? Yes! Does that make him evil? No! It makes him sad…but that’s not my problem. The only time it concerns me is when it affects our daughter!

But the she-devil…she on the other hand has a heart made of pure evil. I’m pretty sure you could just post her damn picture beside the word “evil” in the dictionary and everyone would say “ahhh, yea, that makes sense!”  In the beginning, I tried putting myself in her shoes to understand how she could live with herself….I couldn’t do it!  She’s told anyone who would listen I was “much larger” than she was. I was indeed taller, but even the police report has her outweighing me. She stated in the injunction hearing “people told her the next day I was going to kick her ass” I guess she’s a mind reader since she attacked me prior to knowing that information. It’s been said I was “training to box”, making my hands dangerous, which is why she had to stab me. Now, I did work out boxing and I won’t lie, my straight right could put someone on their ass, so if indeed she’s correct and I attacked her first, how in the hell didn’t she end up with a busted nose? How was she able to overpower me to get a bottle? How….because she hit me with the bottle before I even had a chance to react!

Regardless of her version of the story, how could a supposedly innocent woman go around making fun of a woman she attacked and permanently disfigured? Why would she be so proud of the nickname “slasher” and be more than happy to respond when called by that name? Because she’s evil! There is no remorse for the actions that caused my injuries. No remorse for the affair. No remorse for sleeping with my husband after the attack. No remorse for my friend she tried to run off the road. No remorse for the man she married and shared a life with.  No remorse for the other family she destroyed by her cheating ways. And the worst part, no remorse for the lives of the children that were impacted negatively by all of her actions, including her own child!

Good always prevails over evil. It doesn’t always seem like it in the beginning, but over time, light shines bright for the good in all of us while darkness slowly but surely takes over the life of those that are evil!  My life hasn’t been perfect since the attack, but I can say for certain the love I’ve been shown since that time has been most definitely the brightest times I’ve had! And as far as my attacker goes, I’m pretty sure her cheating days are over.  Some call it karma, I like to call it justice!

df25bac440915a390e071868114d7535[1].jpg

The Truth About Me

When I started this blog, I had no intention of it receiving this much attention. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until recently that the interest soared. I have been living the same life now as I was when I started this blog 3 years ago, so what changed? What made people want to read what I had to say? Hmmm…I can only venture to guess it has a lot to do with my blogs on the attack. I knew putting out the information to the world would possibly draw negative attention, it was only a matter of time. Well, the time is now! I received this comment on the blog I wrote last night!

IMG_0931 (2)

First, let me start by saying I welcome any and all comments. In fact, many of you reading may be wondering if I did anything at all to antagonize my attacker. So let me “admit” the truth…I did!  The truth is I spoke very poorly of her to my husband. I thought she was a home wrecking whore and had expressed so on many occasions. I’m sure he shared my thoughts with her. I also made fun of her to my husband, and I suppose he told her. I admitted to him when I saw them eating lunch together, I thought she was ugly. In fact, I even made the statement if I had seen her at the fire station working with him, I wouldn’t for one second be concerned about her. I guess this proves looks really aren’t everything….sex sells people!! I also had the nerve to continue to be intimate with my husband and express my feelings of love while they were apparently “dating”, even though he reassured me they were “just friends”. Perhaps that was upsetting to her.

I’m only assuming the above commenter took the time to read all of my blogs before posting their opinions about me. If so, I’m not really sure what “horrendous” things they are referring to. I’ve admitted to calling the mistresses husband, I’ve admitted to many things I did during that time, but none of those things would I describe as “horrendous”! Horrendous is allowing yourself to become so jealous, you take a beer bottle, hit an unarmed person over the head, and repeatedly slash them over and over again, until someone pulls you off! Horrendous is lying under oath numerous times, each time giving conflicting stories. Horrendous is posting pictures making fun of the person you attacked. Horrendous is not showing any remorse for your actions. Horrendous is continuing to lie to your spouse regarding the attack and your affair, knowing you are sleeping with another man anytime you get the chance! Horrendous is breaking up another marriage. Horrendous is continually harassing anyone and everyone that crosses you, just because you can! Horrendous….that’s not me!

As far as timid…I would hardly consider myself timid. I’ve written in depth of the pain the attack and affair caused me and my family, but that doesn’t make me timid. As a matter of fact, it makes me strong! Strong enough to face my kids with stitches on my face and chest. Strong enough to face the public with my head held high within days of the attack, to put food on the table for my kids. Strong enough to endure multiple treatments to lessen the appearance of the scars. Timid….hardly!

Now as far as my family knowing the truth….I’ve never lied…not once. My story has never changed. My attacker and her witnesses on the other hand contradict each other and change their stories depending on which report you read. I have them…my attorney studied them…it’s all there in black and white. Only an idiot can’t see the truth. So I suppose if you believe I’m a liar, I would in fact be calling you an idiot!  I have nothing to hide. I’m not ashamed of who I was or who I’ve become. I was a woman, who gave her love to the wrong man, and paid the price. I take full responsibility for being so naïve.

But please, commenter, don’t “feel sorry” for me! I came out on top! I am remarried to the most perfect, supportive, faithful, loving man a woman could ever ask for and my attacker is married to a man who’s a known adulterer! So instead of feeling sorry for me, perhaps your sympathies should be directed towards her…it’s only a matter of time before he realizes who he’s married to and looks elsewhere for a worthy partner! I only hope her current husband is able to protect his future mistress from his crazy wife!! She’s going to need it!

So thank you mystery commenter for taking the time to read my blog, but don’t waste your time feeling sorry for me! I face the truth everyday when I look into the mirror…and the truth is, I’m much better off now than I EVER was then! Good night!

 

 

 

An Unwanted Anniversary

We all have those special dates in our head. The day we were born, the day of our first kiss, the day you met our spouse, the day of marriage, or the day you became a parent.  Then there are those dates you don’t want to remember, but you just can’t seem to forget, no matter how hard you try!  The date of a break-up, a date of a death, a date of a miscarriage, or perhaps a date of an attack.

February 25th will always be a date I want to forget, but will forever be a date of importance. Every year I do my best to prep for the upcoming date. I push the thoughts as far in the back of my mind as possible, with the hopes I can forget it. One year, I even forgot, for one day…but that day was short-lived. I’ve been doing a lot of writing on this subject over the weeks leading up to the date this year. It was not something I had typically done in the past and to be quite honest, it drained me a bit. I had to take a step back from the blog to deal with just getting through the upcoming unwanted Anniversary!

Well, today is that day. The Anniversary I never wanted has come and gone…I survived another year! This year in particular, was hard! My husband, who has consistently been my rock, is still deployed. It makes it hard to feel all of the emotions solo without having my biggest supporter by my side to reassure me like he always does! Instead, this year I had to keep it together for both myself and my kids! Nobody needs mamma flippin’ shit because she’s is stuck in the past dealing with the devil! So I did what mammas do best, I slapped a Band-Aid on the pain with a fake smile and carried on like normal, whatever the hell that is! Ha!

I’ve felt a lot of mixed emotions this week. It’s been liberating getting this story out in the open, but with that has come a lot of weird Facebook happenings! I have had the MOST random friend requests EVER! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a lot of great connections made through writing, and for those genuine requests, thank you! But it’s the creepers that irk me! I mean, I’m smart enough to figure out a fake profile when I see it! And if all of your friends are recent and once removed, chances are you are a stalker and should get a life and stay the hell out of mine! Truth is, my blogs have been public, no need to creep to see them! There have been no big secrets I’m trying to keep and no lies being told! If you want to know what I have to say or the impact all of this has had on MY life, I’m handing it to you on a silver platter….HERE IT IS!! I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by anything I’ve written and I have no problem with ANYONE reading it. This is my way to heal and deal with the past like I choose!

Like I said, it’s been a week of mixed emotions…sometimes I am angry and sometimes I just feel hurt! I’ve been haunted by unpleasant dreams this week on 2 occasions…not a pleasant way to spend my dreams! It disgusts me the way my mind betrays me! Why does it give her so much power? Why does it let her control my emotions…still….all these years later?  I just wish I could erase the pictures of the night from my brain….I wish I could forget the sounds she made, the smells in the air, her blonde hair….just her…I just want to forget she ever existed! But that’s not reality.

The reality is she changed me forever. She changed the structure of my family, or I should say, assisted in altering it. She took away a lot from me mentally and physically that night. I will never feel the same security I felt prior to that night. I will always sense panic when I hear a crash of glass. It’s something I can’t control no matter how hard I try! Physically I will never be the same either! My face will always hold the scars of adultery. They will forever remind me of what selfishness looks like! I was not able to breastfeed my daughter without remembering the horrific events of that night and the pain of the affair! I can’t be intimate with my husband without him seeing a constant reminder of what infidelity can lead too!  I can’t get a facial without being asked if I was in an “accident”! Yea, my ex-husband “accidently” stuck his penis in a crazy biotch!

And let’s not forget the innocent lives that will be forever changed. I’ve been anticipating it…I knew it would happen….today was that day. I woke up to the cutest little 2 year old, snuggling with me. She was caressing my face and when she reached the scars on the left side she said, “Mamma boo-boo?” And right there, in that moment, my heart broke a little more! Today I put that Band-Aid smile on and said mommas ok, but that answer won’t work forever! All too soon, she will be a curious 4 year old and her favorite word will be “why”!

And to her question I will reply,  “Why?  Because if not, then I would’ve never known the unconditional love of your daddy or the amazing, beautiful daughter we created together!”

 

 

 

Uncovering The Truth

If you need to catch up here is and Part 1 and Part 2!

Going through a divorce is hard enough, but when you are going through a divorce and suddenly become the topic of conversation in a small town, it makes it even worse! Anyone who lives or has lived in a small town knows how toxic the rumor mill can be when you are struggling through a hard time in your life. For me in particular, dealing with the divorce was hard enough, but dealing with the rumors about my assault from my husbands mistress at times made it unbearable! It seemed everyone knew someone, who knew someone, who knew EXACTLY what had happened…and they would swear by it!

One of the biggest misconceptions was my initiation of the attack. Although some will still argue I started the altercation, I was able to produce enough evidence to prove otherwise. It still didn’t matter when people that weren’t even present suddenly became experts on my life! For instance, it was stated by multiple people, including the mistress, I was MUCH larger than she was! That was not the case. I may have been taller, but due to a great diet I like to call the “devastated divorce diet”, I was as thin as I was in high school. My attacker was not fat, but very stocky. If I was indeed bigger, how was she able to overpower me and do the damage with the beer bottle without having any obvious signs of a fight other than some redness! Again, I have photos to prove this fact!

It was so hard watching people I once considered friends and family turn their backs on me and side with a serial cheater. They knew his past and knew the facts of the case, but still chose to not only take his side, but use every opportunity to make me look bad in the community in which I lived. I couldn’t even go to work without hearing from other firemen about the lies and disgusting things the mistress was saying to her colleagues about me and the situation. It seemed like every time I had to call rescue for a patient, I had to brace myself for an interrogation from the firemen who walked through the door! I reached my boiling point…I had enough of being treated like the villain. This woman, my husband, and anyone close to them were slandering my name, making themselves into the victims! The affair continued and her husband was one of the many people who believed the lies she told. I was determined to make sure she didn’t destroy him the same way she had destroyed me. I wanted him to know what kind of evil woman he was really married too.

I decided the only way to make him believe me was to provide him the same proof I had…voice mail messages from his wife to my husband. My husband had not changed his password on his cellphone, so for several weeks I taped the messages she left for him. Most were sexual in nature. She sounded cheap and nasty. From everything I gathered in the messages, she liked it rough! Maybe that was the intrigue…he didn’t have to respect her, he only had to flip her 50 ways from Sunday and she felt like a special bitch! One message in particular she was giggling like a school girl…”I don’t know what you did to my back last night, but it’s still hurting today!” I guess she would stop at nothing to have his undivided attention!

After I had enough to prove the affair to her husband, I waited for a day when I knew she would be at the fire station working, which wasn’t hard to do since she and my husband were on the same shift. I won’t lie, when her husband answered the phone, he wasn’t happy to hear from me. So I just played the first message for him. He got quiet and then asked me to stop the tape. He questioned my intentions and why I was doing this to him. I told him I just wanted him to know the truth and he deserved better than this! Then I recounted for him another message regarding a meeting she called to cancel due to her husbands plans changing. The voice mail message she left for my husband let him know he couldn’t come over that evening and that her husband and son had just went to his parents house but would be back shortly! At that moment, I knew he believed me….but at that moment, my heart broke for him. I knew all too well the feeling of betrayal he was feeling. One minute your marriage is your happy place and the next minute it’s like a wave of water has washed all of the comfort away!

The next day wasn’t better. I heard the message her husband left for my husband, begging him to leave her alone. He just wanted a chance to work out their marriage. He wanted my husband to be a man and walk away…time to let them figure out their marriage. But that never happened. My husband continued to sleep with her without remorse. As a matter of fact, he threatened me with the police since I had tapped his phone! Ha…I didn’t tap his phone, I just listened to the messages! But we were married, and the phone was not just his, but also mine, therefore not illegal! 🙂 He was more than pissed at me, but it didn’t change the outcome of the situation. They continued the affair, and I continued with the divorce. But for me, at least I knew I did my best to protect another spouse from being blindsided by betrayal.

It’s been over 10 years since I had that conversation. I recently had the chance to catch up a little bit through messenger. I was able to apologize for the way I handled that situation all of those years ago. My intention was never to hurt him personally, although I know my phone call did just that. I know eventually he would’ve found out anyway, but I hate knowing it was me that delivered the news. He is such a gracious man and doesn’t blame me at all! I am so relieved to know he understands why I did what I did. All I ever wanted was for him to know the truth and get the happiness he deserved…and now, I know he has just that!! He is got remarried and has more kids. Although we were both changed by our spouses affairs, our lives changed for the better! No more doubts, no more hurt, no more tears, no more lies…just love and happiness!! And for that, I will forever be grateful!

 

This is my happily ever after! 🙂

12247034_10153691147090610_9219789234895271654_n

The Definition of Evil

I don’t think evil can even begin to describe my feelings toward my attacker. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to over come the pain from this whole ordeal, but I’ve found once you seen evil, it’s hard to see past the darkness to remember what happiness feels like! You will need to get caught up so if you haven’t already read Part 1 and Part 2 you may want to do so!

I guess I should’ve known just how unstable my estranged husbands mistress was. A week before the attack, I received a phone call from her while I was in the office at a meeting. She was angry because I had reached out via phone to her husband. I wanted him to be aware of their affair as well! She of course denied the affair and said I was just a crazy, jealous wife. During the call she did everything in her power to try and break me down. Unfortunately for me, my husband had given her just the power she needed to do so! During the time the affair was going on, my husband had been sharing details about my previous two marriages. I’m sure initially it wasn’t to hurt me, but with the knowledge he provided, she did just that! It simply wasn’t enough for her to screw my husband and try to end my marriage, she wanted to break me down and leave me hopeless in the process!

During the call she spewed hatred from her mouth as easy as lava flows from a volcano! She was calculated and precise in her words. What could she say so terrible might you ask? Knowing that my first husband was killed in a car accident, she said “Your first husband is better off dead than living one more day with you!” For those who don’t know that story, it hurt me to the core! My love for my first husband ran deep! He was my high school sweetheart, a National Boxing Champion with aspirations to compete in the Olympics. His life was cut short in a tragic accident the day after Christmas while returning home from hunting with his brother. He and I had a 22 month old son and I found out 5 days after he passed away I was pregnant with our daughter! So as one might imagine, that cut me deep emotionally, just as she intended to do!

She also used our time conversing to tell me “If she were married to me, she would beat my ass everyday”, referring to my second husband! Thanks to my cheating spouse, she was made aware of the abuse I suffered at the hands of this man. Abuse of which he was aware of not by just hearsay, but by witnessing it with his own eyes! He was also abusive to my children as well. For her to empathize with any man who lays his hands on a woman and children to harm them just goes to show what kind of coldness is within her heart!

When I called my husband crying about what she had said to me on the phone, he said he had only told her those things to “explain” to her why I had been married so many times! What the hell!!! Why did he owe her an explanation of MY life! This was MY life, OUR marriage, and he had NO right to share my past with this woman! By the end of our conversation he was once again defending his mistress, doubting the validity of our conversation! Perhaps if he would’ve believed me from the beginning, I would’ve been sparred the physical wounds I suffered by her a week later!

After the injunction hearing, I was confident she would keep her distance. Well, wasn’t I the naïve one!

It didn’t take long for my husband to join in on tormenting me. He was living with his sister during our separation. One day he called me to tell me to come get money for support. I had filed for divorce shortly after the attack, but we hadn’t been to court yet. I drove over to his sisters house and there, in the driveway, was her car! I was so dumbfounded! Why in the hell would he deliberately be trying to destroy me little by little. My whole body reacted to the mere sight of the vehicle. Just knowing she was inside had me scared and on guard. I got the check and left quickly, thankful no incident occurred. That was when I realized the people I once considered my family were family no more. There was no way his sister wasn’t aware of the games he and she were playing. She had to know what was going on and was obviously enjoying it as much as the two of them. I could understand her siding with her brother, but what I couldn’t understand was her allowing this violent woman to be in the same house with her children. Not only during the day, but I found out she was also welcome to stay at night as well.

Several weeks passed and one of my friends called me. She had phoned to tell me she saw both of their vehicles up at the local Italian Restaurant! What she wasn’t aware of is that he had visitation of my daughter at the time! Every fiber of my body flew into protective mode! All I could think of was I needed to get my baby away from that woman! I knew she was unstable and I wasn’t trusting him to protect my baby! After all, he did stand by and watch the same one attack me without saying a word! I jumped into my truck and drove faster than the law allowed! God must’ve been on my side that day because I should’ve been pulled over! I walked into the restaurant and there they were, my husband and her on one side of the table and my 3 year old daughter and her 2 year old son on the other side of the table in high chairs! I couldn’t believe my eyes! I walked over, picked up my daughter, looked him right in the eyes and simply said “NOOOOOO” in the firmest voice I could muster! My baby girl reached up and said “Mommy!” As we walked out the door, he proceeded to yell profanities at me, but I just held my baby girl tight and thanked God I had her back safe and sound!

Their relationship continued for more than 9 months after my attack before we finally made it into court. Every time I left our daughter in his care, I worried about her wellbeing. All I could do was pray and wait for our day in court! At the hearing, the judge ordered no contact between my attacker and my daughter at all! He would NEVER be allowed to bring our daughter around his mistress for as long as she was a minor! I was also awarded child support and spousal support. Even though the divorce wasn’t final, I had some peace of mind knowing my daughter was safe!

Shortly after the hearing he ended their relationship. Our divorce proceedings continued and I thought I had heard the last from her. Not the case! My husband got a new girlfriend at some point. I guess she heard about it and wasn’t happy, even though she remained married. Somehow, I guess it became my fault he had moved on without her!! She picked up the phone and called me, threatening me once again! I called the Sheriff’s department and they retrieved the phone records. In spite of her blocking her number, they traced it back to her cell phone. They took the injunction violation to the States Attorneys Office and they declined to prosecute once again, saying it was JUST a “technical violation” and not worth it! I asked them if she would have to freaking kill me before they would ever file charges against her! I was over it! Once again, she remained untouchable!

Although the criminal justice system failed me, I was trying to go after her in a civil court of law, with the hope she would at the very least have to pay restitution of some sort. Let’s face it, I had been going to a therapist off and on for years to deal with what had happened, and even with insurance, it wasn’t cheap! I finally found an attorney who would file the case before the statute of limitations ran out! She asked me to keep a watch on her social media sites in case she was served without my knowledge. She didn’t want me to be caught off guard if she decided to retaliate! Daily, I would check it to make sure she was all smiles and giggles, living life without any worries. Then, I logged in to find some disturbing images on her page!

13 (2)

This was the point where I realized she had no soul! She had stabbed me with a Budweiser bottle. I was called scarface by the very woman who made me that way! I knew this from several firemen I had run into since the incident. One was very blunt with me and told me that she made fun of me calling me scarface! She worked as an instructor and was nicknamed “slasher” and wore the name proudly! What kind of sane person would think this is ok? This is not the behavior of a normal person! She’s obviously deranged! Even though I knew about the nicknames, I won’t lie, it hurt reading it in black and white! Even more so because her fellow firefighters seemed to be enjoying the drama instead of being appalled at her actions!

I have so many things still hiding just beneath the surface. It was a long, hard road but I fully intend to let it all out! I plan to continue to write daily until I feel like the world knows the whole story! No, I wasn’t perfect in this situation. No pissed off, angry, vindictive woman is, but one thing is for certain….I have never been evil! Anything I did during that time was done to try and gain some sort of control of my life that was in a downward spiral! Let’s face it, the man I loved turned his back on me and his family for this woman, and I planned to make damn sure everyone knew exactly who she was, including her husband! Definitely not my finest moment, but I have no regrets. He’s happily married now and he deserves nothing less!

I’ve been quiet for far too long! I’ve been protecting the very people who did nothing to protect me in my time of need.  I’m sure I’ve ruffled some feathers over the last few days. That’s ok. I went into this knowing it would happen. Truthfully, it’s one of the reasons it’s taken me this long to let it out! I had to be strong enough to deal with the backlash! There is always those who will doubt the truth even if it’s spelled out for them clearly. Those people are called skeptics. They are the “glass half empty” kind of people! I don’t know about you, but these days, I like my glass half full!

Tomorrow’s Topic: We Have Something in Common…Our Husbands Mistress

(Oh yes….I can’t make this crap up!)

 

 

The Truth Shall Set You Free

To quote a classic man, Paul Harvey, “Now, the rest of the story!” If you are just now finding me, take a few minutes and get caught up! Part 1 can be found here!

Night turned into day as I sat in the back of the car on the way home after being discharged from the hospital. My parents sat in the front seat with their emotions swinging between hurt, scared, and just mad as hell! We were told by the cops no charges were being filed. That meant one thing to me….this monster was still out there, walking the streets, free to attack again at any time! What in the hell was I going to do now? I didn’t own a gun? I was alone with four small children. Surely my estranged husband would realize how crazy this woman was, right? He would certainly make sure he notified the authorities at the break of daylight to wrong a right! But I couldn’t be more wrong!

When we walked into the house, I was exhausted and just wanted to crawl into the safety of my bed. My mom stopped me and said before they left, I had to go and look into the mirror. I thought she had lost her mind! I was FINE!  I saw the blood! I knew it was bad. I could see the chest wounds. How much worse could it be? I decided to walk into my sons bathroom to look into the mirror, if nothing else, it would shut her up! I flipped on the light and stood up tall and stoic! As my eyes met the woman in the mirror, my heart fell! The tears welled up in my eyes and I lost my breath! One thing was for sure, my mom had been right to make me face the “new” me in the company of the two people who loved me first in this world….the same two people who loved me most! Who in the hell was this woman looking back at me? At the time I had no clue, but I intended to find out!

These were taken after receiving sutures.  They called in a Plastic Surgeon and she did her best, but I was left with horrible scars and needed further revision and surgery a few months later.

The first step was facing my children. There were tears shed. As I looked into their eyes I saw fear. How do you explain to children that evil truly exists? How do you explain to a child that not all wrongs are made right? I still struggle daily with those two very questions. I tried my best to reassure them that everything would be ok, but in reality, nothing was ever going to be the same!

I spoke to my husband via phone that day. He asked what the injuries were and I explained in detail the injuries. He apologized over and over and said he had no idea she had done that much damage or knew she had stabbed me. He said he was “drunk” and thought we had been tangled up but didn’t remember the details! I explained to him what had occurred. Not long after the initial conversation, he called me back and called me a fucking crazy bitch! He blamed me for the entire attack! He said I started it and she had been merely defending herself! Hmmm….what happened to Mr. Drunk Guy’s lack of memory! Seems like it had either miraculously returned or he was siding with his mistress and believing her every word! At that moment, I literally died inside. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have misjudged someone’s character so poorly? How could I still be in love with a man who was obviously sleeping with a woman who had tried to kill me? My heart was betraying me….I curled up in the fetal position and cried! My marriage was officially over and I knew it!

I filed an injunction for protection against my attacker. A few days later, I was served with a notice to appear in court regarding an injunction for protection hearing for both my husband and my attacker! REALLY?? They needed protection from ME??

During the time before the injunction hearings, my husband and I were not allowed to have contact with each other at all. When he filed the paperwork, he never thought about making a plan for visitation for his daughter. For over 3 weeks he went without seeing her due to the no contact order. This was a document he filed, not the other way around, yet I was the one blamed for him not seeing his daughter. This was not my fault but yet I was being portrayed as a woman scorned, keeping her child away from the child’s dad out of spite! Disgusting, simply disgusting!

The next few weeks were hard! I was a Home Health Care Nurse and had no choice but to work. If I didn’t work, I didn’t get paid. I was now a single mom so off to work I went. My patients were upset seeing my face covered in sutures! One in particular took it hard. I had been seeing her husband on a weekly basis for over a year! I had a real bond with this family. When I walked into her home, she took one look at me and said “Baby, who did that to you?” With tears in my eyes, I didn’t have to say a word! Later on after reading the article in the paper, my next home visit was met with a huge mama-like hug! She knew exactly what I needed at that moment…..to know some things were still the same!

The court day came for the injunction against my attacker and her injunction against me. I wasn’t nervous at all considering, until she purposely walked by me trying to intimidate me. I kept it together as she passed by, excused myself to the bathroom where I broke down in a full blown panic attack! I had to pull it together and face the evil in that courtroom or else I would never forgive myself! I cleaned up, took one last look in the mirror to remember why I had to be strong!  We stood on opposite sides of the court room. Two of my friends sat behind me, ready to testify on my behalf, and on her side stood her friend and of course, my husband! I don’t know why I was surprised!

Long story short, and I do mean long…what was intended to be a 5 minute hearing turned into over an hour of testimony! My attacker had her attorney present. She continually plead the fifth. She had no problem saying I attacked her, but if he asked if she hit me with a bottle like she said in her original statement to the police, she would plead the fifth. My husband was questioned. He told the judge I had initiated the fight. When the judge asked him “Who stabbed your wife?” He said he didn’t know! The judge wasn’t happy at all! Her friend testified to the same rehearsed story as the other two before her, and just like the other two, she had NO IDEA who stabbed me!  Now, during this testimony a court reporter was present. I have the entire proceeding and have read through and compared statements. Here are just some of the discrepancies. My attacker claims I initiated the attack and was sitting on top of her and choking her. Both her friend and my husband backed up her account. BUT, during the injunction testimony, her attorney wasn’t as quick to stop the line of questioning to them.

When asked to describe what happened my husband said “(attacker) was standing over the top of Kenna-Joy and they were locked up! Then people started pulling them apart.”

Her friend stated “I was holding (attacker) up by her belt so Mrs. Treadwell couldn’t pull her down! Everyone was pulling them up and we left!”

This is where common sense comes to play….if I were on top of her choking her like she stated, how did both my husband and her friend see her standing over the top of me?? Don’t you think any decent prosecutor would’ve been able to discredit all three?

By the end of the hearing, the judge told me to stay away from her for two months. I received a lifetime injunction against her. The next day in a different county, my husband injunction for protection against me was dismissed! It wasn’t much, but it was a small victory in what would become a war of a lifetime!

My story is far from over….and neither is the proof of the evil fills her soul! Here’s a sneak peak of part 3….her evil runs deep!

1

 

And That’s The Truth

I’ve been debating for a while as to whether to write about this topic in further detail. I’ve been in a mental, emotional battle with myself as to whether I should allow myself to dive deep within myself, pull out the raw emotions, and just let them out for anyone and everyone to judge me, including the cowards hiding behind fake profiles. Then, as if I needed a sign, it was staring me in the face! A bright neon sign….blinking…beckoning me to sit down at my laptop and just have it out with my past! I figured if my past continues to bring itself into my present, then why not give it what it wants…the attention it so very much craves!

I’ve touched on this subject quite a few times in previous blogs. My friends and family know the story inside and out. They’ve seen the pictures, they’ve seen the court documents, they’ve held me through the tears, and helped me through my darkest times. But I want to reach out to those who don’t know. Or to those who THINK they know, but they really have no clue. I want to reach out the non-believers. To the ones who think I somehow deserved what happened to me. I would like those people to seriously read with an open mind, and ask yourself at the end of this blog, if I am telling the truth, how should this individual still be walking around among the free? And to those who may wonder “Well how do we know you are telling the truth?” First and foremost, use common sense. Second, I have either physical evidence or court documents to back up my story….no, not my story, my TRUTH! Just ask, I am more than willing to show it to you!

11 years ago, I was in the middle of a nasty separation. I was working as a Home Health Nurse, had four beautiful kids and was married to a Fireman. Right before Christmas, something felt off. We started marriage counseling. Within a week I knew he was having an affair. Call it a woman’s intuition or whatever you would like, but deep down in my gut, I knew he was cheating! He left a few days after Christmas. Within days, I confirmed the affair with numerous phone records, voice mail messages and several meetings between the two of them. Not surprising, she was also married. They worked together at the fire department. During the months of January and February, things were touch and go. We continued counseling, had a few family dinners and continued to have spousal relations. My husband continually denied the affair throughout this time. I received mixed signals as to where our lives were headed.

At the end of February, I had plans to go to an event with a dear friend. Although it was a police and firefighter event, when I spoke to my husband prior to accepting my friends invitation, he assured me he would not be there. That night, I went to the event, not knowing my life would change forever!

When we arrived, it didn’t take long for me to realize my husband was there. I ignored him and stayed with my friends. I spoke to a few of his friends in passing throughout the night. At the end of the event, our group went our separate ways. My friend, her boyfriend and I walked to my car. I heard my husband yell “whore” to me from behind as I entered the car. So I got out, appalled at his accusations, especially since it was he that had been unfaithful!

As we were arguing, his mistress came from behind him with her arm raised. Before I had a chance to react, I was out. I woke up on the ground with her standing over me, striking me repeatedly with an object. I tried kicking her to get her off of me, but I felt the object hit my butt so I grabbed her hair to pull her down on top of me. I remember hearing her grunt as she continually jabbed the object into my torso. I felt her being pulled off of me. I reached over to my husband who was standing to my left side. I grabbed his leg and begged for help. His response was “Get the Fuck off of me!” And just like that, he left with her. The rest is pretty much a blur. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance where I received over 75 sutures to the face and chest. I had multiple abrasions to my abdomen, but by the grace of God, I chose to wear my black leather jacket that night! I fully believe it saved my life.

No arrest was made. They informed me it was a case of he said, she said! My husband refused to tell the truth. He said I attacked her. Her story was I was on top of her, choking her, she reached over and grabbed a bottle off of the ground and started hitting me in self defense.  So here’s your chance to believe her side over mine….but let’s look at some facts before you are quick to judge.

I met with the officer on scene and he gave me her statement and explained since “I was the aggressor”, she wouldn’t be arrested. I then asked him was she covered in blood? He said no, just on her hands. This is where the common sense comes in….how could there be NO blood on her if I were on top of her when she stabbed me in self defense? Gravity would’ve covered her in my blood! Another point which you will be able to act out yourself after I post the pictures. How is it possible for her to slash me from the right upper chest down to the left lower chest with one motion if my hands were around her neck choking her? My arms would’ve been blocking the motion needed to cause those injuries. The rookie officer apologized to me after our conversation. I realize there were superior officers in charge of what took place that night and the choice to not make an arrest. I also realize with her working for the same city in which the attack occurred, I would never receive justice. I met one road block after another.

This is just the beginning of the truth….emotionally I must take a break. It’s hard reliving this painful event, but the truth deserves to be heard. Stay tuned folks….there’s a whole lot of crazy left to explore! (If you are squeamish, look away now)

This picture shows the blood pooled at my neck, proving I was on my back, not choking her

2-26-05 011

This one caused nerve damage and has left the left side of my jaw numb.

2-26-05 003

 

2-26-05 0062-26-05 010