I wrote this poem after my ex-husband left me in January 2005. My emotions were so raw at the time. I sat down tonight and was reading my journal I wrote during that time and it was extremely hard to read. I had so much pain in my heart, but on some days, even after his mistress attacked me, I still held out hope we could make our marriage work. Looking back on how many times I believed the lies he told me hurts me even today! When a partner cheats, the pain stays with you forever…even if you bury it deep within yourself! There is always a little bit of doubt, a little bit of pain, a little bit of shame, and a lot of insecurity!
Goodbye, So Long! 2/05
When I looked into your eyes that night so long ago,
I felt a strong connection and our love began to grow.
We began first as friends and became so much more
I never thought it would end with you walking out of our door.
I never wanted the pain, I never wanted the tears,
I only wanted your love for all of our living years.
You not only broke my heart, you also lost my trust.
Keep your lies hidden well, hide the truth if you must.
My love was unconditional or so I once thought
but my one condition is honesty and trust can’t be bought.
So as I ponder the end and my feelings begin to fade
I shed a final tear for the family that we made.
You once were my everything, now your nothing anymore
our love began to die the day you walked out the door.
So I say goodbye to you and to all of my love inside,
the hole left in my heart I will always hide.
So here’s to you and your new found life
Goodbye, so long, from your once loving wife!